Tired

Nowadays, i am tired of working. It has become no meaning to me. Everyone struggle to work. But the reason behind it has already become meaningless to me. Everyone works to survive. I am having night shifts again. This sat and sun, i will be working nights again. Today supposed to be the day that i can meet the ger i like every week but i need to work. It has already been a month since i last saw her. I hope i am able to see her next week. Although i haven't make up my mind but seeing her is the least i can do.

I blame myself for being so weak and useless but yet i cannot change the fact of it. I blame myself for working here as i don't have the courage to change job. Nowadays, i cannot absorb anything from hearing. I can only absorb through looking. Maybe looking can absorb more and understand more than hearing for me. Instructions pass down verbally, i can't absorb all. If instructions is in words, i will be able to pass down the message properly.

I am really tired of working and studying together. After a month of break from studying, finally i have class on this thurs again. Really tired of this. I don't know how far can i go. Today i even lost my cool because of a stupid case of a customer. 2 more years of studies but i don't know how long can i stay in this job. Customers are getting on my nerves. Suddenly, i don't know how to answer those customers. I am becoming quite hot-tempered. Easily lost my temper nowadays. I will need to control abit. I am like wasting time coming to work but coming to work have money while rotting at home no money.

I hope everything ends up well. Tomorrow is my off day. So hope time fly faster now.